Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 22 August 2008

image for Jack Nicholson livid at ex-CIA spook's Angelina Jolie, Sen John Edwards paternity claims
Between a rock and a hard-on place: Nicholson is apoplectic at the claims

Los Angeles - (Overactive Prostate Gland Mess): Hollywood's top cold war lothario and random inseminator of pointless randy women Jack Nicholson is spitting venom.

A former top CIA official says Bill Clinton ordered a cover-up of the Cuckoo's Nest star's fathering of minor entities who then went on to become megabux celebs Angelina Jolie and Sen John Edwards.

The Nicholson whitewash also gagged Ronald Reagan's unabated 40 year Hollywood rampage of prepubescent penile penetrations.

"He gorged himself and went on to become Leader of the Free World," an editorial in LA FagHagSlagMag said today.

The assassination of Marilyn Monroe and her lover ex-US Attorney General Robert F Kennedy was seminal to this cover-up which had alleged the Disney Corporation was part of a massive LA sex ring.

"The good news is this may bring down that hornet's nest of the surrender-cheese-eating-monkeys' secret service and the farce that is the Nickerless Sarkozy/Carla Brunei mobster dictatorship," the editorial's Dave Skank added mysteriously.

Mrs John Edwards is white as a sheet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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