Los Angeles - (Lurid Ass Mess): Pointless socialite Paris Hilton has spoken for the first time today about her shock at finding out that 'glamrock' (oh, per-leeze!) singer Gary Glitter is her birth father.
An LA FagHagSlagMag interview recounts how family lawyers sat her on her 18th birthday to break the news.
"They just said 'hang on to your seat, kid - this is as bad as it can get'," Paris, 28, recalled.
"I guess that's why I'll never get my hands on Grandpa's squillions."
Paris was told that she is a changeling planted into the Hilton nest after the family's security Rottweiler dogs ate the real heiress, aged 3, in a tragic poolside barbecue accident.
The Hiltons just went apeshit, until Sarah Duchess of Pork 'donated' her lookalike little bastard by Glitter who was a dead ringer for Miss Hilton RIP.
Glitter, 69, is just out of the slammer.