Written by Michael Simmonite

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Friday, 9 November 2001

image for Charlie Dimmock's nipples fail to erect
Charlie's water feature

The BBC switchboard was jammed after last week's edition of Groundforce brought a flood of complaints from angry male viewers.

It seems that female presenter Charlie Dimmock failed to raise a couple of points in the first ever programme to be filmed in totally dry weather.

"We're sorry to disappoint our male viewers but we can't organise the weather," a spokesman told us.

Meanwhile Charlie Dimmock promised: "If it ever happens again, I'll throw myself into my water feature."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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