Written by Fergus McCarthy

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Topics: China, beijing, bisexual

Monday, 11 May 2009

image for "There are nine million bisexuals in Beijing." Katy Melua deported from China.

Katy Melua, the phenomenally successful Georgian/N.Irish/S.E London singer has been deported from China amid a storm of controversy after a live performance of her multi million selling single "Nine million bicycles in Beijing."

Ms Meluah was arrested by armed security as she left the stage at the Beijing Concert Hall following a benefit concert in aid of 'wire twisters' made redundant from China's toy factories due to the global economic down turn.

The concert, beamed live to an audience of millions across Asia featuring western artistes such as Eminem, The Pogues, Metallica, Snoop Dog, The Prodigy and Chinese Rappers 'American Communism' passed off peacefully until Ms Meluah took to the stage. Communist Party officials present were said to be outraged at lyrics that appeared to suggest that half the population of the nations Capital were on the swings and not the roundabout at playtime.

Chinese State Television broadcast confirmation of Meluah's expulsion in a strongly worded statement that was clearly a written warning to any future female Western solo singers planning on visiting China.

"The Chinese Government has deemed Ms Meluah "unsuitable" following her outrageous slur on the Chinese people and more specifically the hard working and honest heterosexual citizen's of our nation's Capital Beijing.

China has been both lenient and tolerant with regard to Western performers in recent years but unfortunately after Ms Meluah's outburst we will be reviewing criteria and eligibility for future entertainment visa's for chicks"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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