Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones have shocked the music world by their ability to still rock. While music critics have been raving over the new automated wheel chairs with marijuana inhalers that truly makes them the Rolling Stoned, the group has been negotiating a new contract.
EMI has been the oldest Rocksters in history's company of choice since the early 90's (1890 that is) but Jagger told Rolling Paper Magazine, a subsidiary of TheSpoof.com:
"Me and the boyz just couldn't pass up the AARP contract offer. Imagine!, medical insurance and free pharmaceuticals, discounts on hotels with coverage for damages and all sorts of purchases and best of all, all the medical marijuana we can puff! The American Association of Retired Persons is the Rolling Stoned's kind of organization! Finally we can get some satisfaction!"