Written by Sophie Jayne
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Thursday, 28 August 2008

image for Daniel Radcliffe Stalker In Bloody Suicide Attempt
stalker jumps infront of train

Well known stalker of Daniel Radcliffe, Flophie Payne (16) is recovering in hospital today after throwing herself in front of a train in the early hours of this morning.

Unfortunately the teen was wearing brightly coloured Radcliffe merchandise and therefore the train driver was able to spot her from some way off and slow down so that as she jumped from a bridge she was not hit with as much force and the attempt to take her own life failed.

Flophie chose to make the attempt after discovering she had forgotten all about Radders 19th birthday last Wednesday (23 July). She felt that if she could not remember the most important date in the stalker calender there was not much point in living!

Doctors say she will make a full recovery and DanRad has even hinted that he may make a surprise visit to her hospital bed as he feels partly responsible.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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