Oakland, CA (CNN) - 83-year-old homeless man, Stan Gelbaugh, loudly proclaimed today that he will not be Barack Obama's Vice Presidential candidate. "Not only will I not accept the Vice Presidential post I won't be traveling to Iraq with Mr. Obama either. Now help me find my bottle".
This is becoming a trend. Mr. Gelbaugh is now the 29th person to publicly proclaim no interest in being Barack Obama's running mate. Many people were certain that Stan Gelbaugh would accept the position and toss his hat, or ratty scarf as it would be, into the ring. Even Mr. Gelbaughs parole officer, Kelly Stouffer, stated "I am shocked! Stan's still alive? He owes me money".
Close personal friend and fellow drunkard Dan McGwire didn't hide his disappointment when he said "I really thought this would be the year the meek would inherit the earth. Who's meeker than Stan?" Dan McGwire, as many know, is well known for his line of custom made refrigerator box furniture. His mattress made from corrugated cardboard and Bud Light cans is legendary.