Written by Jeff Brone
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Friday, 18 July 2008

image for College Student "Probably Playing With Himself in There"
Yeah right!

Overley College freshman Bill Joeleton has "just about had it" with his roommate, Dave Forsart and his "constant hanging of a tie on the door." Joelton explained that the two of them agreed to hang a tie on the doorknob when either of them wanted "some privacy." But Joeleton continued that "It's pretty much understood that it's only if you have a girl in there, or maybe if you're going through some real heavy crap and you're crying or something. This guy seems to pull this every other day, and I'm tired of it."

It started when Joeleton came home to find a tie on the doorknob. At first I thought "OK, Dave's getting some. I was happy for the dude. Then one of the other suitemates told me he thought Dave came out of the room by himself, but he couldn't be sure. That's when I got suspicious."

Joeleton said he mentioned it to Forsart, who "came up with some lame explanation about some chick he met in the cafeteria, but he was real vague on any details." Later on Joeleton said Forsart "started buying condoms and kind of leaving them on his desk. Like I really believe that lemur is having regular sex."

Joeleton said he has some Playboys and Penthouse magazines, and he thinks they've been shuffled around when he's out of the room.

"I bet he's polishing his helmet in there. He better not spew any on my mags, or I'll brain him." said Joeleton.

For his part, Forsart said he planned on spending the next few nights at "his lady's room, just to be fair to the Billster."

"We'll see," said Joeleton. "He'll probably be back tonight at eight, eating one of those cream sickles he gets at the student deli and wanting to order some lesbo porn on pay-per-view."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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