London-- Singer Amy Winehouse is afflicted with the mysterious Morgellons Disease according to her father. She contracted the disease late last year from her incarcerated boyfriend. Most cases are a caused by chem trails or other secret government projects.
Amy is a victim of huge face boils, one of the hallmarks of the disease. She also feels insects "crawling under her skin", says her father.
Amy's drug abuse is all caused by the odd malady. "It would drive me batty if I had her symptoms." said her supportive father. "Please understand she suffers with this, as all Morgellons victims do. She just smokes crack and drinks a lot to hide her pain."
Amy also has strange fibers under her skin. The fibers defy all scientific analysis. "She had enough fibers under her skin to clothe a bloody elephant!" said her dad.
Amy's disease has not gone unnoticed by the Morgellons Action Defense Department Executive Response (MADDER). Jill Mill is an attorney for MADDER and explained their response:
"We are sorry for Amy Winehouse, but we hope her celebrity status will bring this disease out of the closet. For too long sufferers have been labeled cranks or hypochondriacs. We pray Amy does for Morgellons Disease what Rock Hudson did for AIDS.