In a statement issued Sunday, July 6th the media shy ex-dancer, turned rapper, turned doting daddy, Kevin Federline, speaks out against the Material Girl and her seemingly psychoactive sexuality:
"I was just a dancer back then, so I really didn't understand what was going on, but something went wrong at that moment; something changed and after that Britney wasn't Britney any more. I've seen that look once before and I hoped to never see it again.
"Unfortunately it seems she has struck again. Madonna has eaten A-Rods brain."
In other reports there have been images circulating the net of a strange reptilian slit appearing in photographs of Madonna.
Later in his statement K-Fed gave his condolences to C-Rod, who 'deserves the opportunity to send The A-Rod a packin' -as well as removing him from her life and the lives of her children.
If Britneys fall from super stardom was any indicator of the "Toxic" nature of Madges kiss, then the families of A-Rod and Gwennie are in for a rocky ride.
Rabbi Yehuda Berg was unavailable for comment as to which of the names of g-d can be used to steal a mans soul, but was quoted as saying that with a few more classes and a "weighty investment" he would be happy to restore Brit's career.