The United States Registry of Historic Places has declared that Paris Hilton is now a National Historic Landmark. The distinction comes to the socialite at the young age of 27.
Barbara Davenport of the Registry issued the following statement: "Our decision came down to either Paris Hilton or Yankee Stadium for the last Historic Place designation of the year. We chose Ms. Hilton for a number of reason."
"Paris Hilton has had more games played in her than Yankee Stadium (home of Major Leage Baseball's New York Yankees). More fans have seen Paris in her glory than have ever seen a baseball game in Yankee Stadium. Men have found the sweet spot in Paris Hilton more times than batters have found it in Yankee Stadium. Paris is more experienced with balls and has handled more bats than Yankee Stadium."
"While players shag only fly balls at Yankee Stadium, Paris Hiltons shags anything, with or without balls."
"Paris has also seen more ejections than all of the umpires at Yankee Stadium, and her lovers definely know all about getting to first, second, and third base."
"All in all, we feel we have hit it out of the park with this decision."