Written by Jalapenoman
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Sunday, 6 July 2008

image for Researchers Discover Who Put the Bomp in the Bomp Bah Bomp Bah Bomp
The badge given Elvis by Nixon is being taken away

In the 1960's, singer Barry Mann asked the mystical and heretofore unanswered question: "Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?" The previously unidentified man was also accused of putting the ram in the rama lama ding dong," the bop in the "bop shoo bop shoo bop," and the dip in the "dip da dip da dip."

Researchers at Carnagie Mellon University have discovered the identity of that person who "made my baby fall in love with me." In a press conference held Thursday afternoon, they announced that the culprit was none other than the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Aaron Presley.

Said History Department spokesman Hal George, "We believe that Presley was responsible for this action. All evidence points directly to him and to his music. If he were still alive today, charges would be filed against him for this savage and brutal act."

The university estimates that putting the bomp, the ram, the bop, and the dip into the aforementioned statements "caused women to swoon and fill with uncontrollable sexual tensions, passions, and desires that could only be released in wild orgies of involuntary pleasure."

Upon hearing the announcement, President George W. Bush vowed to remove the special deputy status given to Presley by President Richard Nixon. "After what he done to those women," said Bush, "he don't deserver a badge."

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