Written by Jeff Brone
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Wednesday, 2 July 2008

image for Don Imus Professes Dislike of African American Based Peanut Butter
I would like a banana too!

Radio personality Don Imus shocked listeners recently when he said he didn't like peanut butter, or as he put it, "that sticky oily stuff" that he claimed adheres to the roof of his mouth.

Since Imus is known for making racially charged statements recently, a guest quickly admonished that peanut butter " was almost invented by George Washington Carver, which everyone knows was an African American of great renown in the field of agriculture and peanuts" to which Imus replied "I don't know about that, but I'm just not partial to peanut butter."

Station associate Bill Yorban said "The phones lit up. We had calls coming in from all over, mostly New York, exclaiming a near disbelief that Imus could get into such hot water once again. This is like when he ruined all those lives of the girls on that gymnastics team! What will he do next?!"

A spokesman for the National Agricultural Foundation was quick to point out that the actual inventor of peanut butter as we know it today may not have been Carver, but he then added that "Imus probably doesn't know that, so it's still pretty bad." He then added "I mean, come on!"

Former president Bill Clifton, America's first black president, expressed shock, saying "Who doesn't like peanut butter? I could go for some right now. I would like a banana too!"

He was later spotted eating a banana.

Don Imus, for his part, had little to add, but was later seen eating a nothing and jelly sandwich at his desk.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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