Written by Brendon Humperdink
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Tuesday, 1 July 2008

After murdering the Oasis hit 'Wonderwall', Jay Z has since confirmed he is to collaborate with local bitch slapper Max Mosely.

In another bizarre episode in the life of Mosely, he said he would love to collaborate with the hip hop star.

"When he asked me, I was over the moon. We share similar interests - we're disrespectful to women and we like our prostitutes, oh sorry, ho's!".

Rumours are rife that the pair are thinking of doing another Oasis cover, most likely 'She's Electric'. However, there will be a noticeable change to the song. Instead, the lyrics 'she's electric' will be replaced by 'she's a bitch', and will focus on that afternoon Mosely had in an underground dungeon. Also, instead of the 'I'll be you, and you'll be me' lyrics, this will be replaced by 'I'll be a Nazi and you'll be a bitch'. Heavy stuff!

However, this isn't without it's complications. The Gallagher Bros are threatening to strangle Jay Z and all living rappers with their two ton monobrows.

"That fookin bitch slapper can't sing for sheeeeeeite! I'll stick those golden chains up where the sun don't sheeeeeine", Liam Gallagher said.

Meanwhile, Noel Gallagher is considering a counter attack when he and Oasis perform again. The elder Gallagher is thinking of doing a cover of '99 Problems'.

"I've never heard the song before. But I can guess what it will be all about. I just have to say 'bitch' 'ho' and 'yo ho ho mutha fuckers' and I'm basically there.

He also said 'my arse could sing better' than Jay Z.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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