In the wake of Amy Winehouse's latest "comeback triumph" at Glastonbury, ITV bosses have announced plans for a new series "Rehab Idol".
"We plan to get junkies, alcoholics and the mentally ill to shuffle around on stage and mumble a few songs" said an ITV spokesperson, "its what Amy Winehouse and Peter Docherty have been doing for the last few years and the critics seem to think its the work of genius".
ITV later confirmed that it will be supplying its panel of judges with copies of The Guardian media section so they can flagellate themselves senseless in their search to find Britain's next train-wreck of a celebrity.
Winehouse stunned audiences with her recent Glastonbury set where she staggered around the stage, rambled between songs, drank and allegedly assaulted a member of the crowd.
"I thought she was great" one Glastonbury reveller from Newcastle told reporters, "ok, she looked and sounded like a Karaoke transvestite doing an impression of Janice from "Friends", and she did seem to be a bit drunk, and maybe she did hit somebody at the end of it, but that's pretty much normal for a Friday night out in Newcastle! Result!!".
ITV say the new planned show will form part of its new autumn schedule and will appear on Saturday nights between "Fat People Do The Funniest Things" and "Ant and Dec's Best Premium Rate Phone Vote Rip Offs".