Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 27 June 2008

image for Big Brother Dennis Evicted For Saliva Abuse
All the way back to Scotland, you knob!

Big Brother inmate Dennis McHugh was sensationally evicted from the show today, after he broke Channel 4 Saliva Rules during a heated discussion with Mohamed, which also included several other moronic individuals.

McHugh became so annoyed, that he was forced to lick Mohamed's face, which immediately drew Big Brother's attention. He was summoned to the Diary Room.

Dennis, 23, who is from Scotland, and as bent as a nine bob note, was thrown out of the show when Big Brother told him that Channel 4 took a dim view of Saliva Abuse. The sad, gay Scot wept openly.

Still in his shorts, he was ejected, given a dressing gown, and put on the first available train to Glasgow.

Other housemates stood around shellshocked after the licking incident. Never before in the previous eight seasons of the show, has anyone been licked, and Channel 4 bosses have already said they will be conducting a full, fair and open investigation - probably in a couple of years.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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