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Thursday, 26 June 2008

image for Fire rocks Glastonbury Festival as Winehouse beehive hairpiece-shaped UFO scrambled
Seen above Glastonbury just minutes before morphing into a Winehouse wig-shaped object

Worthy Farm, Somerset - (Freaky Mess): RAF jets scrambled a mysterious UFO shaped like Amy Winehouse's bouffant beehive hairdo today just as a curious bong-like object emerged from inside, smouldering and spluttering ominously over the Glastonbury Festival site today.

The five hundred foot wide mother ship was buzzed by Tornado jets before exploding in mid-air and plummetting to a neighboring Government laboratory skunk farm where it caused a massive blaze, conveniently upwind from the music site.

Festival organisers said that over 90,000 music fans had already arrived and got an unexpected hit as the wind direction changed to swathe the Worthy Farm festival arena with the pungent fumes.

Not everybody was happy about the unexpected phenomenon however.

Top marijuana peddler Dave Skunk said today he was facing ruin as tens of thousands of potential customers were too wrecked to crawl their way to his tent where, despite ruinous prices of up to fifty quid for a measly ten pound bag of home grown, business was expected to boom as normal.

Singer Winehouse meanwhile has issued a statement distancing herself from the mystery craft and promising to sing a number or two via videolink from her specialist lung disease treatment unit at London's Royal Freak Hospital.

Pete Doherty is incontinent.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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