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Tuesday, 18 May 2004

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John Stevens- Superstar?

John Stevens, the 16-year old crooner from East Amherst, NY and recent American Idol evictee, advanced past the first round of the WB's Superstar USA Monday Night. The show is an "untalent" contest, a nationwide search for the worst singer in America. The judges think Stevens might have what it takes.

Stevens performed Crocodile Rock before the Superstar judges, hoping to redeem his first attempt at the Elton John classic, which he sang on American Idol. On American Idol, he received harsh criticism from the judges. This time, he was more fortunate.

"I thought you gave a great interpretation of this classic on American Idol, but this time you really nailed it. When your voice cracked during the ‘na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na,' I felt you were making it your own," exclaimed judge and pop star Vitamin C.

Judge Briggs, producer of the show, said to Stevens, "Sinatra is rolling over in his grave, but in a swinging, finger snapping sort of way." Judge and "Wild Thing" ToneLoc concurred, "You're like Dean Martin at his drunkest!"

Stevens, who maintained a straight face under the rebuke of the American Idol judges, couldn't hold back a smile after the Superstar judges' review. He told host Brian McFayden, "[American Idol judge] Simon [Cowell] made me think I couldn't sing, but now I realized I can!"

For the next round, Stevens plans to sing the country tune "King of the Road," where he promises that this time, he won't forget the lyrics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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