Written by David Baker

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Topics: Music, Kids

Tuesday, 18 May 2004

image for Jennifer Lopez in "New Kids on the Block" Weasel Cult Nightmare.
Call me Donny

Over-rated singer and arse queen Jennifer Lopez was shocked to discover a tribe of angry weasels have started to stalk her. These weasels upon hearing the soul-less drivel that she insists on calling her music became so incensed that they decided it's creator must be some kind of God of banality and have taken to performing bizarre dances dressed as members of 90s pop group New Kids on the Block, in her honour.

Interviewed for The Spoof today Ms Lopez said;

"The leader, the one they call Donny, is terrifying. I woke up one morning to find his mad black eyes staring at me from behind his New Kids mask, he let out the most awful screech and then started doing the routine to Hang Tough, he was then joined by the rest of the cult and I just ran screaming like a girl. I've since had to install a crocodile filled moat to keep the livid rodents at bay."

She went on to say; "Don't be fooled by the Crocs that I got, I'm still Jenny from the block"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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