(Jackson, Miss.) - Television star and slut extraordinaire Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth today in a mud hollow in Jackson, Mississippi. Within ten minutes the baby girl was pronounced healthy and also pregnant.
Electing to have her child far away from the Hollywood limelight, a la Brad and Angelina, Ms. Spears choose Jackson, Mississippi because "I couldn't really pick out Europe on a map."
With a group of inbred moonshine runners serving as security, paparazzi were forced to stay up to four feet away from Ms. Spears' vagina during the delivery. Following the birth, however, reporters were immediately allowed inside the gaping orifice.
Doctors running routine tests on the baby girl after the delivery were stunned to learn that the child itself was pregnant.
"Well, I wouldn't say I'm stunned exactly," said attending physician Dr. Humbert Humbert. "This is Jamie Lynn's kid after all."
Mother and child were both said to be healthy, happy, and without a measurable IQ.