Written by Monkey Woods
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Wednesday, 18 June 2008

image for Big Brother Sex Orgy Pulled As It Wasn't Disgusting Enough
Yes, but of very poor quality

Today's controversy in the Big Brother house centred around a Sex Orgy Task that had to be edited-out of highlights as it was nowhere near disgusting enough.

The orgy, featuring all of the 15 housemates apart from despised black activist Alex, started when Mario and his domineering partner Lisa had an innocent kiss in the bathroom. There were, at this stage in the proceedings, no tongues.

When Blind Mikey stumbled in on the pair, however, all hell broke loose. The twosome quickly involved the blind man on a 'menial task', and when Rebecca and Rachel joined in, it promised to be like Caligula all over again.

Before long, Darnell the albino, Mohamad the Terrorist and Sylvia (an ex-Somali warlord) were excitedly pawing away at each other's nether regions. Jennifer, Dale, Dennis, Katreya, 15, Rex, and even limp-wrister Luke got periphally involved, but Alex, who has been ritually disrespected and violated, managed to retain her air of dignity, and hid in the bogs.

The 14 participants moved into the Diary Room, where various orifices were explored, until Big Brother told them to stop as it wasn't interesting enough. The task was declared a failure, and next week's shopping budget will be cut to 50p per person per day, which means more arguments.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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