Written by matwil
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Topics: Rap, Rubbish

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

image for Rap is 'not crap' says Lil' Wayne
Wolfgang 'Dr Dross' Mozart and his band

American rap star Lil' Wayne today claimed that rap 'is not crap'.

Speaking from the MCHammer studios, he said: 'Look, rap was crap 20 years ago, OK, and it's exactly the same now as it was then, and all the songs are exactly the same as each other, and it's not even music, but no way is it crap!' And Eminem, trying not to laugh all the way to the bank, added: 'Rap is more like classical music, man, with such varied and emotional highs and lows, and differing time keys, so many styles to choose from - OK, just one style, but that doesn't make it crap.'

Other musicians have agreed, and Sir Paul McCartney said: 'Forget Eleanor Rigby and Live And Let Die, some talentless clown talking in an annoying voice to a drum beat for 3 minutes is REAL music.' And chart-topper Phil Collins added: 'Genesis and even Led Zepellin would have been so much better if they'd just read out their lyrics over a bass guitar, wouldn't they?'

And speaking from Vienna, Wolfgang 'Dr Dross' Amadeus Mozart added: 'Yeah, uh-huh-huh-huh, man, gonna rewrite my operas for Lil' Wayne, that'll make the ghetto rock, baby!'

A music industry spokesman denied that rap can be done by 4 year-old children, or that most rap records are bought by them. Grandmaster Flash is 54 today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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