Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Amy Winehouse

Monday, 16 June 2008

image for Winehouse pregnancy rumor
Unidentified lifeform gestating in the Winehouse womb

London - (Ass Mess): Singer Amy Winehouse was rushed to North London's Royal Freak Hospital after fainting at home over a line of coke.

Months of unprotected shagging have left the singer exposed, vulnerable and quite possibly months pregnant underneath all that tattooed wrinkly belly-flesh.

A spokesman for Rat Records said today:

"F**k off, c**t. Amy's up the duff. So bleedin' what? You the father or somthink?"

From her bedside in the RFK's private Dildo Wing Amy told pals she felt something was crawling inside her "and it ain't Blake's this time."

Ultrasound staff are standing by to scan for possible lifeforms in the Winehouse uterus which until recently was classified as incapable of supporting gestation due to the high percentage of blood in her cocaine stream.

Flake Bleeder-Weevil is to be sentenced for his GBH lark on Friday.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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