Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 16 June 2008

image for Chanel No 5 launches Mademoiselle Hogwarts
Harry Potter and the Fabled Smelly Potion

Paris, France - (Olfactory Mess): Fabled Parisian perfumier Chanel No 5 has launched a new fragrance for punch-drunk Harry Potter fans called Mademoiselle Hogwarts which combines traces of Daniel Radcliffe's pheromones and JK Rowling's cast off undies.

"Zees ees a unique opportunity to grab a slice of zee plagiarising fiction market weez our catchy little new numero," Monsieur Adolphe Collaborateur of Paris's soixante-neuf arrondissement-based perfumerie said today.

The scent will be promoted by a $100 million campaign featuring Hermione Granger actress Emma Watson.

The eighteen year-old will drink half a gallon of the new perfume on a live TV launch promo and then plaster her body with skin patches similar to nicotine or hormone replacement stickies.

After ten minutes the patches will have absorbed enough magical potion to be worth a staggering $1,000 each.

"A limited edition of approximately five thousand patches will be produced," the perfume house PR said today, "precluding the need for any of those tacky glass bottles and dreary atomisers."

A Mademoiselle Hogwarts lingerie line will follow shortly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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