Hayward, California - Today, in breaking news, video game superstar, Sonic The Hedgehog was arrested with a pocketful of performance-enhancing steroids.
Hedgehog, 32, said of his experience, "You let Roger Clemens get away with it, but because I'm blue and spiky, you make an example of me! Racists, all of you!"
Hedgehog's lawyer, Spyro D. Dragon had no comment, but says that he plans to clear his client's name as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, a representative at Sega, Inc. is attempting to do damage control by recalling all Sonic The Hedgehog merchandise.
Hedgehog's friend and co-star, Miles "Tails" Prower, 25 says of his friend, "Sonic would never do that. He sings in the church choir and donates blood."