There was great excitement and anticipation last night in the Big Brother house, when, given a task to learn how to play an instrument, housemates discovered they each had musical ability, and formed an orchestra.
Viewers all over the country witnessed the group gel into an accomplished musical unit within minutes, and the voice of Big Brother revealed to the orchestra that they had taken a telephone call from the Royal Albert Hall who wanted to book the orchestra for The Proms in September.
Conducted masterfully by African-American albino, Darnell, the Big Brother Philharmonic gave a rousing performance of the boisterous anthem Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick and the soulful Anarchy In The UK, with vocals by Wigan pro-wrestling MC, Luke.
THe only member of the house not to have taken a role in the orchestra was Alex de-Gale, the bully, who felt that the band of musicians was unrepresentative of her black roots and was, therefore, disrespectful. It had also violated her musically.
Who leaves? You decide.