Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Thursday, 12 June 2008

image for Cell Phone Popcorn feature now ban at movie theaters
Check with your provider before you activate the popcorn feature on your cell phone as additional charges may apply

Hollywood, California - Movie theaters not only are asking patrons to turn off their cell phones, but now days they are prohibiting them from popping corn with them as well. The new policy comes on the heels of a popular YouTube video showing cell phones used to make popcorn.

In that video, a group of friends gathered around a table with their cell phones placed in the center of it forming a semicircle. Some raw popcorn kernels are placed in middle. As their cell phones all ring in unison, the raw kernels of corn pop.

Now, the YouTube video has been mostly distributed to cell phone users everywhere.

Especially in light of the recent studies citing both industry and medical concerns over microwave radiation exposure directly linked to cell phone use, while others dismiss the video as a fraud. Either way, no one has been more concerned over the video than theater managers.

"It's really doesn't matter if the video is real or fake because the impact is the same for us," said Helen West of the American Theater Association. "Just after the video appeared on YouTube, theaters across the country reported to us a shape decline in popcorn sales. As well as an increase in the cost of their workers compensation insurance."

Ushers everywhere are filing workers compensation claims over injuries sustained while trying to cleanup between the seating rows, slipping and falling on the uncooked kernels of corn and unused melted butter left behind.

Apparently, moviegoers, thinking they can save a few bucks on having to buy popped corn, are attempting to make it using their cell phones in the darkened theater.

"The real tragedy," says West "Is that the ushers recover from the physical injuries well enough. However, it's the psychological scars of having fallen onto a theater floor that they don't ever recover from. You just don't want to know what people throw on the floor in a darken movie theater. Trust me."

Check with your provider before you activate the popcorn feature on you cell phone as additional charges are certain to apply.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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