Written by Sophie Jayne
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Thursday, 12 June 2008

image for Daniel Radcliffe Opens A Crisp Factory
Radder's crisps.

Not content with just causing obesity via his chocolate factory, Daniel Radcliffe or Radders as we all like to call him, has bought a crisp factory so he can line his bank account with profits from more bad tasting, cheaply made, insanely high in fat snacks.

"It is a funny story really," Dan told me "I was walking down the street eating a pack of cheese and onion when I noticed a slightly burnt crisp and I thought to myself this is not on, I must make my own crisps that are better quality so nobody ever has to go through the pain of eating a less that satisfactory crisp ever again!"

Once again, while on lookers roll their eyes and check for needle marks or some other reasoning for madness, I smile at him and wish over and over that one day my prayers will be answered and I will be in the arms of Daniel, where I belong. But for now I wish my future hubby the best of luck in his latest business adventure, one day that money will pay for my children's school fees.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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