Written by queen mudder
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Topics: Angelina Jolie

Friday, 30 May 2008

image for Angelina Jolie's phantom pregnancy ghosted by classic Womb Raider psychosis
Phantom pregnancy: a wobbly belly full of hot air

France - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): French doctors have refused to perform an emergency caeserian on Angelina Jolie after ultrasound scans revealed nothing more than a fully-blown pseudocyesis.

"A phantom pregnancy is often result of a classic Womb Raider psychosis," an obstetrician at the Cannes Film Festival told reporters.

"Women who develop these bizarre gestation symptoms are often desperate to rekindle previousy successful attempts to get attention," Prof V Smart, resident shrink at the Croisette Hotel explained.

"Sometimes traditional headline grabbers - like raunchy tales of lesbian flings - can do the business quite adequately," Smart added.

"When these become tedious and over-exposed there's nothing quite like a sudden balooning of the female belly to sharpen up a spouse or audience's attention."

Joile, 39, has already saddled husband Brad Pitt with a daughter and three adopted brats.

Friends of the couple say that despite a facelift and other correctional surgery Pitt, 44, still looks like a bomb has hit his scrotum.

"All that enforced parenting filling up his philandering opportunity timeslots has aged the man terribly," an editorial in LA FagHagSlagMag said last week.

As for Angelina the prospect of being unable to continue nailing him down for much longer may have driven the fishy-lipped movie actress to succumb to symptoms of the classic gestational psychosis.

Jennifer Aniston is cock-a-hoop.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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