California - (Ass Mess): A new hagiography about the German occupation of Paris Hilton's pudenda says it encouraged women's lib at a time when the world was still reeling from her lesbian claims.
Hilton's alleged collaboration with the Nazis has been likened to a Munchhausen-by-Proxy type of syndrome where the pointless peroxide socialte attracted a lot of attention to herself by trawling the depths of fascist Teutonic intercourse.
"The Nazis occupied her vagina for the duration," the book's author claims, "and quite frankly it was one big party, the National Socialist Sexual Liberation Party, if you like."
Some blame the relentless winter coke shortages that led Paris astray.
But others maintain she's always been a kinky attention-seeking bitch who only feels relevant if her snatch is throbbing from the sort of post-coital bunker romps that gave young Adolf a bad name.
Lindsay Lohan has got nits.