Sydney, Australia - (Cheeky Ass Mess): Wolverines' lead singer Darcy LeYear has rubbished stories that Who Dares Wins TV presenter Tania Zaeeta shagged an entire detachment of Australia's elite SAS aboard a Hercules carrier enroute to Afghanistan.
"Cobblers, mate," keyboards player Chris Doyle concurred.
"Tania was far too busy in a four-way mile high romp with me, Darcy and our drummer John Clinton.
"Clinton - no relation, of course to that other famous shagger - took so long to come that we were half way over Kandahar before anybody else got a look in.
"None of the squaddies got so much as a toehold in the queue."
The band was on a musical goodwill mission to Afghanistan and made the trip with Zaeeta and two dozen of the Australian Defence Department's finest.
From her Sydney condominium home today the TV presenter told reporters:
Aussie PM Kevin Rudd is foaming at the mouth.