Sarah Ferguson, or, if you like, the Duchess of York, has been unceremoniously dumped out of the city of Hull by unhealthy eating campaigners, after starring in a reality TV show which promoted better diets amongst the Poor.
York, 48, had been the guest of the Sargerson family who live on the Preston Road Estate in Hull, and had spent four weeks with them in an attempt to get them to change their eating habits, or, at least, to teach them how to use a knife and fork.
'Head' of the Sargerson family, mum Tonia, told reporters:
"Shewuz all 'broccoli' this and 'cauliflower' that. F*ckin bitch, torkin all hoighty toighty. Cun't understand a f*ckin werd shewuzonabowt."
Her husband Mick, an ex-army bloke who has taken up laziness, said:
The Sargersons were supported by an army of Unhealthy Eaters from the East Yorkshire branch of that organisation who stormed their ramshackle dwelling on the run-down estate, and ran the ex-Royal out of town, allowing her only a brief 10-minute stop at a chip shop.
Ferguson has had problems with her own weight in the past, and has an overweight daughter, Beatrice, to put up with. She said:
"My Goodness! What an awful place that was! And a fearsome-looking family!"