The North American Man-Dog Love Association announced today that it is severing all ties with entertainer and dog-fancier, Michael Jackson. Association Kennel Master, Daniel ‘Spot' Dekker, speaking at a press conference held at a San Fernando Valley park popular with dogs and dog owners, said the decision was a difficult but necessary one.
"The North American Man-Dog Love Association is America's oldest and most respected inter-species relationship association. As such we have standards and an image we must uphold. For over seventy five years the MDLA has stood for consensual relations between man and man's best friend. Our motto, proudly stated, is "Sex with Rover or it's All Over." However, the reports of paedophile behavior coming out of the Neverland Ranch are simply too disturbing to ignore."
"Though our dealings in the past with Mr. Jackson have been above board and honest we regretfully must accept that the Michael Jackson of today is not the Michael Jackson we all know and love."
Mr. Decker refused to specify which reports he referred to in his statement, and added, that, "If and when Mr. Jackson moderates and modifies his behavior we will be pleased to resume our relationship."