Los Angeles - (Disaster Mess): Studio bosses have pulled Tom Cruise's family biopic Valkyrie after the FBI advised that Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl has tested DNA-positive for paternity.
The Cruise movie is named after Hitler's lover Unity Valkyrie Mitford Fritzl, the fascist daughter of British traitor Baron Redesdale born in Swastika, Canada who gave birth to Hitler's secret progeny.
A spokesman for United Tribute Artists studios said today that Off-the-Wall Street backers pulled the plug on additional financing after seeing rushes of the movie's first five minutes.
Meanwhile in Amstetten Joseph Fritzl's lawyers say their client is poised to reveal all his Nazi lineage relatives currently enjoying public high office within the EU and elsewhere.
"We feel sure some of his kith and kin like Mr Bush in the USA may feel they have enough controversial publicity as it is to deal with," a spokesman for Grubowski & Grubowski LLP said today.