Written by Luka Animal
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Topics: Pamela Anderson

Sunday, 11 May 2008

Breaking news stormed all over last night on the BBC, CNN and Sky News after it was reported that the infamous Pamela Anderson's incredibly large breasts popped while she was sleeping on her bed in her house.

Her maid, who was in the room at the time of this tragedy told The Sun that she heard a loud noise from where Pamela lay. She immediately ran to her mistress to find her boobs shrunk. 'I have never witnessed anything like this before in my life. The most shocking part is that, Pam never even seemed to feel it. She opened her eyes at the sound of her boobs' blast and muttered somethings that sounded like 'Nobody can match my balloons' and started to snore again.

'After reporters asked the maid, whose name as we have now recovered as Ellen, what she did next, she replied enthusiastically, 'At first, I just stared at her open chest. I blinked a few times and ran into the toilet to get water. I threw water all over her face. When this didnt work, I tried spitting, farting and even urinating on her face. Nothing worked,damn it! So I quickly called 911 and they came within no time.'

Asked how the paramedics were, Ellen said,'They were trying really hard to wake her up. But a fight broke down between them on who to give Pam CPR. I also noticed that their willies were erected to maximum point which left me wondering whether they had penises as large as that of a horse.' Ellen also told that it took 30 people to carry Pamela to the ambulance.

For her efforts , Ellen was honoured with an award of heroism. Sadly enough, this award was taken back from her when she admitted that she was watching Pam and Tommy Lee's sex tape at the time when Ms Anderson's breasts exploded. Pamela is in good condition now - except for her boobs for which a memorial is to be held as soon as Pamela stops crying.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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