Written by Chuck Barber

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Monday, 10 May 2004

In a move aimed at ending his current prosecution and avoiding further prosecution in the future, Michael Jackson announced this morning that he and the Neverland Ranch were going to secede from the United States and California.

Dressed in a pink taffeta Spiderman suit and flanked by his legal team and members of his family - brothers Frito, Tostito and Cheeto - Jackson smiled for the reporters and cameras then spoke directly to Santa Barbara County District Attorney Tom Sneddon. "You can't prosecute me anymore. I don't even live in your country! Hee hee hee."

A one page press release handed out at the press conference provided details of the proposed secession. King Michael Jackson will rule over the Neverland Realm as the release styles it. Persons interested in entering the realm will need to obtain a visa beforehand, and only boys under the age of fifteen will be allowed to become permanent residents. Finally, all permanent residents will be provided with an apartment, a car and driver and a complete assortment of KY Jelly.

In other news related to the formation of the Realm of Neverland, The Association of Roman Catholic Church Priests in America declared they would relocate their headquarters from Cicero, Illinois to Neverland.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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