Britain's Got Talent, the TV variety show that tours Great Britain attempting to discover quality entertainers from the country's mundane and miserable ranks of misfits, has sacked one of the show's three judges, Mr Piers Morgan, as there isn't an ounce of talent in him.
The ex-News Of The World editor and former presenter of BBC show You Can't Fire Me, I'm Famous, was, himself, fired this morning after several thousand complaints from viewers along the lines of:
"Piers doesn't know what he's talking about!"
Hundreds of viewers said that Morgan could be seen nodding his head out of tune to terrible material, and tapping his feet like your granddad does when remembering an old song.
Others said his analysis "lacked conviction", and that he looked "wooden" in his suit.
Morgan's boss, Simon Cowell, agreed, saying:
"He's useless. He is the embodiment of the scientific term Anti-matter, in that nothing he says matters."
Amanda Holden, the third judge in this farcical excuse for Saturday evening 'entertainment', said:
"Like 98% of the participants, Piers is talentless!"