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Thursday, 8 May 2008

image for Barbara Walters admits to masturbating
Ms. Walters had this picture of the governor gaining power in her handbag

Long time television interviewer Barbara Walters admits in her new tell-all book that she has masturbated secretly several times during the course of her long career.

"The first time was after my interview with Fidel Castro in 1975", she writes in her autobiography "Audition". "The man exuded sensuality and power. I could feel my breathing getting heavy, my nipples getting erect and my crotch getting moist just being in the presence of the man. After I returned to my hotel room I had to get some relief".

Ms Walters admits that she is sexually aroused by men and women of power and influence. However, even the handsomest men didn't stimulate her if they did not possess control over millions of people.

"Arnold Schwarzenegger, even with his rippling physique and giant manhood, did nothing for me until he became governor of California", she writes. "After his inauguration I couldn't wait to get into his pants. Sadly, I had to masturbate them too".

Ms. Walters also admitted that she felt some sexual feelings for Monica Lewinsky, the former intern to ex-U.S. president Clinton simply because "she held the leader of the free world in the palm of her hand".

Ms. Walters candidly expressed sexual desire for Henry Kissinger, Richard Nixon and Israeli president Shimon Peres.

"The only person of power that doesn't turn me on is Michael Jackson", she admitted. "He's just too weird".

Ms. Walters did not reveal the method of masturbation she used because, as she stated in an interview, "children might be reading this book".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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