Written by Mike Oxhuge
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Topics: TV, Game show

Saturday, 3 May 2008

image for Controversial new game show given go ahead on primetime TV!
Two successful contestants from ITV1's "Blind Drunk Date"

Television watchdogs were left reeling last night after ITV1 gave the green light to a new primetime TV game show called 'Blind Drunk Date'.

The object of the game show is for contestants to get incredibly intoxicated and attempt to attract and have intercourse with the ugliest partner they can find. Contestants are awarded marks for successfully using a series of unconvincing chat up lines, downing large amounts of larger and showing unattractive parts of their anatomy. Judges are impressed when contestants have no recollection of the competition, their partner's name or even their gender. The show format was originally developed in Germany where it is known as 'Big Brother' and has been an audience drawing hit.

Campaigning against the program, watchdog activist Mary Shitehouse said, "These programs are pure trash. They degrade and devalue long traditions of British males going out and enjoying the weekend. Pulling a moose is a sacred right of passage from boyhood into alcoholism and should be cherished. It takes away the mystery of waking up in a strange place with someone that you've never met before. Its just so wrong to try and do it on purpose."

The show's creators have also come under fire from critics at the BBC. Head of the corporation, Mr Jonathan Woss said, " Its so unfair. ITV have twaditionally bwoadcast unwatchable wubbish at pwimetime. That has allowed us to get high watings fwom ouw most populaw show: The Jonathan Woss show. I know that Gwaham Norton is fuming!"

ITV spokesperson, Ivor Biggun offered this response in defence of the show. "Primetime Friday and Saturday television has been in decline recently. We decided to bring it bang up to date and make it representative of our target audience. They don't want to be watching people who can speak or have an intelligent conversation. They need something that they can shout at their mates about down at the pub to make them seem more popular. We've filled that gap."

Whether the show is a success remains to be seen but all indications suggest that it will be a massive hit and it already has a sponsor: the RSPCA. Spokesperson Anna Bollic- Steroid said, "We've been looking for a show that will reflect out latest campaign well and in "Blind Drunk Date, we believe that we've found it. When you watch it, try to remember: - A dog is for life, not just Friday night!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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