Written by David Hawkins
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Topics: Pornography, Dancing

Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Epileptic Porn Star Discovers New Dance
Turn On The Lamp And We'll See The Calculator

This morning about 2 AM at the Skuzzy Skank Lounge in Cleveland, when Skooze Whorman, the famous porn actress and part-time "Bonehead Finance 101 for speakers of english as a second language" instructor from Israel, started floppin around on the dance floor like a pickled herring getting shocked by a cop's tazer, nobody started asking if there was a doctor in the house. Nobody tried to help her. The people around her knew she was a trend setter and they better hop on the bandwagon so they can be trendy too.

Everyone started flooping on the deck like freshly flung gefilte fish like it was supposed to be some kind of dance.

Little did they know Skooze Whorman recently contracted a rare form of epilepsy after too high a dose of anesthesia during a surgery to remove a table lamp and a financial calculator from her rectum.

When she awoke from her seizure, she saw everyone contorting around on the floor and was about to ask if there was a doctor in the house but her better judgement helped her to determine there probably wasn't.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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