Written by Jesus Budda
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Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Bimbo Gerbil-faced Mariah Carey marries Geek
"I touched her boobies!"

It's reported that gerbil-faced, busty airhead Mariah Carey has wed the nerdy guy from her sexy music video "Touch My Body".

The busty songstress fell madly in love with the bespectacled geek while shooting the pop promo. Insiders say that the two disappeared into Mariah's trailer for secret rendevouz's.

"With all the whoopin' and hollerin' I'm guessing they did the dirty quite a few times", said a pervy teamster who ate donuts during the shoot.

Mariah is incredibly stupid and associates fear for her wellbeing.

"Mariah is a very, very ignorant, dumb-ass kind of girl, " said her hairstylist Craven LaCoq, "like honestly, she's such a thick diva I'm not sure she knows what she's letting herself in for. He's just after her money and a quick feel of her boobies, for Christs sake".

Not much is known about the nerd, apart from the fact that he enjoys stamp collecting, CB radio and building model kits of WWII Nazi gay bars.

If the two have children together, experts agree that they will not only look kinda funny but also be the stupidest kids on the face of the Earth.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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