For once in show business, rumours were true and Mariah Carey is indeed married to rapper-playboy Nick Cannon.
The marriage was confirmed for bored reporters by the equally bored sister of the groom.
"Yeah, well, it's done," Ms Cannon said with a shrug.
She wouldn't confirm an earlier report that her brother's impromptu nuptials had taken place while the couple was blind drunk on a nude beach at an undisclosed location in the Bahamas, though she did mention that the signatures of all four Boyz II Men band members are tattooed across Mariah's ass.
"I'm not going to give you any details, but hey, if this is what he wants, I'm happy for him, really," she spat at reporters before slamming the door.
Not that we cared.