Written by Norton Folgate

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Thursday, 1 May 2008

image for Ping Pong Cowell

ITV1 reality show 'Britain's got Talent' is under the spotlight after contestant Sharon Fairclough proved 'a little too hot to handle'.

Sharon, a catering assistant from Lincoln, had Judges Amanda Holden, Piers Morgan and TV's Mr. Nasty personified - Simon Cowell stunned and lost for words when she fired a succession of ping pong balls from a delicate and private part of her anatomy.

A shocked Piers Morgan said 'she almost my eye out' whilst Simon Cowell was undecided if her act was a work of art or that of utter filth. Cowell said 'I would have to see it again before I passed judgment'.

A spokesperson for the show said 'This is not the first act to move Amanda Holden to tears.'

Ant & Dec refused to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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