Written by some guy
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Topics: south park

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

A man who was found in his apartment by a neighbour, had died of malnutrition. He sat atrophied, limbs hanging, eyes staring forward in death.

Police found Edouard Smith in his Amsterdam flat at 3:30PM after his neighbour called in that day to report a foul stench coming through the wall and concern that there was no response upon repeated requests.

Residents of the establishment reported not seeing Edouard Smith for weeks. 'I just assumed he had gone on vacation or something,' shrugged Finch Kim, Edouard's neighbour across the hall. 'He sometimes disappeared from your life and then just popped right in. He was very in your face.'

Edouard was found propped up in his chair facing his computer screen running the entire series of animated superhit South Park from beginning up to yesterday's new episode when Kenny got killed by a fallen telephone wirestrangling and electrocuting him at the exact same time. The bolt of energy
bolted Kenny back to life, much to the relief of his distant friends watching through a telescope from the CN Tower. Then Kenny got hit by the falling space station.

Doctors estimate the time of death was six days ago at around 4PM. Incidently Edouard was watching the episode when chef gets brainwashed by an adventure club (scientology) and the children watch him die by getting impaled on a spike down a cliff. 'I thought you crap your pants when you die,' remarked Cartman, to which chef was ripped apart by a final massive poop.

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