Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 27 April 2008

image for Britney's Dad sends conservatorship lawyer to help Amy Winehouse Pa
Amy's having none of it and insists she's just chillin' a bit, nothing harmful or seedy or toxic

London - (Tacky Ass Mess): Britney Spears' father Jamie has offered to send his conservatorship attorney Ivan Backhander to help sort out Mitch Winehouse's drug fiend daughter Amy.

Last week's lurid public crack binge ended Amy's supposed abstinent serenity.

It also resulted with the daftass singer spending a night in the police custody after emulating Britney's own benchmark public narcotic performances.

Fisticuffs and a bit of swearing had been involved in a 3am Chalk Farm Road fracas lapped up by eager paparazzi.

Spears pere apparently phoned London last night and told Mitch "to lock up the silly bitch in psych ward, padlock her £££s and gag the media".

As a result Backhander is believed to be on the first ex-LA flight today with a handy list of tips for successful crack princess management techniques.

Pete Doherty is in NarcoNon.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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