Written by Jalapenoman
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Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Teenagers Select Best Places for Dates
Lots of make out spots can be found in caves

Teenagers across the United States were ask to vote on their favorite places to take a date. The survey required them to be specific; in other words, they could not say "the mall," but had to pick a specific mall. After auditing over 128,000 submissions from youth across the country, the results were found to be somewhat surprising.

First on the list was Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico. This was voted on by nearly all participants from the cities of Lubbock, Midland, Odessa, Amarillo, and El Paso, Texas and Albuquerque, New Mexico. Said one high school junior, who asked to remain anonymous, "Are you kidding? This place is perfect!"

"First off, it's a three hour drive from my house. So it's just the two of you alone for six hours in a car, cuz you got the round trip. Also, it's educational, so your parents can't object. Third, you are walking alone in the near dark for hours, so you can gradually move from holding hands to just about anything. Then, there are places where you can get just a few feet off the path behind a stalagtite for a while and not be seen."

"The coolest part is when they turn the lights out and it is pitch black for a few minutes. Your girl will almost jump into your arms. You can also sneak a quick feel of the girl on the other side and she'll think it's her boyfriend."

"Of course, if you're smart, you'll just read about it on the internet, buy some souveniers off of e-bay, and go to a motel six somewhere and screw your brains out all day long."

Chosen second by teens was the Woodstock. Since this happened before all of the voters were born, it was discounted.

The third choice was the Six Flags Theme Parks. Said John Spencer of San Diego, "Hey, you can get away with putting your hands just about anywhere the way you get thrown around on some of those things. And, if you are lucky enough to be on one of those log rides with a girl in a white top, you may get some see wet t-shirt sightings after the splash."

Fourth place went to "anywhere my parents aren't and can't find us.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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