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Tuesday, 22 April 2008

image for Godfather-style whorse's head left for Equus star Daniel Radcliffe
"And looking just like Marlon Brando"

London - (Whorsewhisperer Mess): Equus star Daniel Radcliffe is still feeling badly shaken after waking up to find himself snuggled up in bed next to a whorse's head.

"It was just like in that bloody Italian film," Radcliffe said today, "and looked exactly like Marlon Brando."

The 21 year-old actor was still in shock this morning as he told reporters of his nightmare:

"Yep, it was all gore and guts and slime and everything. AND all over my precious Egyptian hand-made organic fair-trade 3500-thread sheets - DO NOT tell my Ma, she'll be livid."

The actor is known to be a big fan of raw whorseflesh which many in his profession - as well as on the European Incontinent - consider to be a delicacy.

"I don't know why anybody would make such a horrific gesture," Radcliffe continued.

"It's not like I did anything even vaguely obscene on stage in that nude scene with the horse.

"Maybe it's a madman trying to embarrass me, thinking I'll go running back home to my parents house.

"Hah! Fat chance."

"Maybe it's because he spurned the advances of an ageing, peroxide children's fiction thief and international fantasy plagiarist?" an understudy in the Equus show muttered today.

JK Rowling owns an abattoir.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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