Written by Dan Bristol
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Friday, 7 May 2004

image for Michael Jackson has 10,000th plastic surgery
Michael Jackson uglier than ever

Hollywood - Pop star Michael Jackson stunned the entertainment world today when he unveiled the results of his 10,000th plastic surgery procedure, during which something seems to have gone horribly wrong. However, the embattled pop star assured reporters that his new "evil satanic mannequin womany man-thing" look is entirely intentional.

"I'd like to thank Dr. Mengele for working his magic on me, and for the enema," Jackson told reporters. Jackson then rambled on for an hour about UFO's and being innocent despite heaps of evidence to the contrary.

Jackson, under indictment for the 12,376,459th time for charges of doing not very decent things to small boys, told reporters "I had the procedure done as a pick-me-up and also to make it harder for them to pick me out of a line-up . . . whoops! Was that out loud?"

Spoof reporters contacted Jackson's plastic surgeon to inquire about the procedure. "Nein!" said Mengele in an exclusive interview "Ich hatte nichts, mit der Furher Gesicht zu tun, das wie ein frau ist! Jetzt gehen let's Spiel mit meinen Affen!" Which translates roughly as, "Let's go play with my monkeys!"

Jackson is expected to cry during a press conference later this week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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