Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 21 April 2008

image for Daniel Radcliffe Searches For Australian Girl
Can you find Daniel's mystery girl in this crowd?

Daniel Radcliffe, who plays the title character in the Harry Potter films, is looking for a girl. Unfortunately, he does not know her name, her age, exactly where she lives, or anything else about her.

Radcliffe spotted the female at a press party in Australia and exchanged a few glances and smiles. When he was able to look for her, for about an hour at the party, she was gone.

Newspapers from Sydney to Perth have decided to help in "Harry Potter and the Search for the Down Under Hottie." A reward is being offered for information leading to her identification.

Said Radcliffe: "She cast a spell on me. Just staring at her made my wand stand on end, if you know what I mean. I even pulled out my invisibility cloak and looked for her in the ladies' rooms, but she wasn't there. All I found was some skank groupie named S.J. masturbating in a stall with my picture."

To assist in finding his wild woman, Daniel has decided to hire the services famous Australian game tracker Bindi the Jungle Girl. "Her dad was Steve Irwin, the famous Crocodile Hunter, and she learned from the best. I've heard her say krikey and everything!"

Bindi has promised to find the mystery woman, as long as she is not poisonous, it doesn't interfere with her bedtime, and she can play Barbies with her before turning her over to Radcliffe.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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