London - David Bowie, whose sensuous voice and keen sense of showmanship helped create "glitter rock", hit the charts today with a new CD, entitled Cheese!
The CD features an overdriven yet tasteful industrial sound, combined with folksy harmonizations that can best be described as absurd, yet redundant. Also, all the songs are about cheese.
Bowie's title track is a powerful rock anthem about the fermented dairy treat that reaches into the depths of the artist's soul. "I like cheese. It is tasty," Bowie sings. "Let's go have sex in a lorry." Bowie denies rumors that this lyric is addressed to his longtime friend Mic Jagger, but says that "I do like cheese an awful lot."
The title track is followed by such chart-burning megahits as Sage Derby In Your Face, Ground Control to Mr. Wensleydale, and I Want My Red Windsor To Rape My Soul. Critics are hailing the CD as "cheesy."
Cheese! Is currently on sale in most music stores and delicatessens.
DISCLAIMER: The author of this article is a David Bowie fan, so don't bother with the e-mails flaming me for picking on David Bowie. However, flame me all you want for going after Michael Jackson. He's a freak.